Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life."
As a mom finding "refuge" in my day is almost like a scavenger hunt, one I rarely win at. Even with kids back in school there are a million and one things I want to do, a hundred I need to do, and few that really get done. I start out with great intentions and then one thing changes, and plan W (for "whatever") takes it's place. I can't imagine I am the only one, this happens to...I hope I'm not. And please let me say I am NO WAY saying I have it worse than anyone else - my life looks boring compared to others I know. But for me, it's hard to find those moments of refuge.
I suppose if I had a day where I could chose what to do without any consequences (like stacked up laundry, dishes, and hungry mouths to feed)I'd probably choose a quiet, dark room, with Christian music playing (new stuff I've never heard), and a hammock - maybe a soft gentle breeze or rain falling in the background. Hey a girl can dream right?? But I know this room would have a door, and eventually on the other side I'd hear knocking, talking, questions that need immediate answers (like "What's for dinner?" or "Where's the remote?"), and other very important stuff.
Life doesn't ever stop does it? Even if we get a moment "away". I love being a mom, a wife, and for the most part - I enjoy being needed. But honestly it does get overwhelming at times and I want to scream "CALGONE TAKE ME AWAY!!" I may be out of Calgone but I'm never without Jesus. He is my refuge, His word quiets my anxious thoughts, and His strength gets me through yet another day. Even if nothing gets done on my list - He is all I really want in life. Nothing else matters, nothing else compares, and I can't do it without Him (I don't know why I even try).
Psalm 84:1-4 says: How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD Almighty! 2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. 3 Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God. 4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.
I was made for HIM and HE was made for me - and in HIM alone I will find rest.